Type 2 Happiness

I used to think happiness was when people 
validated me for looking pretty or hot.
When they clapped as i performed to please them.
When i got my little comforts and felt liked.

But it was all fleeting.
None of it filled the blackhole inside of me.

I used to be high af every single day  
~5 years, on cloud-9
until one day i decided,
let's actually fucking go there.
Let's stop running from my life,
and face my fears head-on.

Let's dance on the edge of the world,
above the actual clouds.

This right here, is Type 2 Happiness!
It didn't come easy.
But it stayed.
And I know I'll carry those moments 
above the clouds
for life.

Because i earned this.
Because i stopped running from myself
and finally met Kaj.
And that -
is what set me free 
😀