Fire has never stood still
until the stillness was forced to begin.
But only in such stillness can a volcano
become a mountain.

---

But I have ADHD –
with a body dripped in velocity,
wired for motion,
not captivity.
How can I breathe
when dancing is my oxygen,
not a luxury?

But the universe
sat my arse down and said,
Cool. Be homeless for a bit.
Let’s see who you are
when you’re stripped of your kit,
And no longer fit.

Because the real peak
is sitting still in the quiet,
believing in yourself
without a motive for this riot –

Just silence and spine,
still backing yourself
when your rhythm goes offline –

Because the summit isn’t the memory.
It’s the moments I was mask-free.
With my people, that show up for me.

I was never meant to carry this alone
The strength of the wolves
lives in the pack,
not the lone
being hardened to bone.

Because the mountain wasn’t me –
it was us, all along.

---

She doesn’t miss the claps
or the stage lights.
She misses putting her headphones in,
playing her favourite tunes,
and dancing like no one’s watching,
without giving a fuck what it looks like.

---

I know I do crazy shit like climbing mountains 
but I NEVER go down caves.

I don't know why I've been resisting me so hard,
just because this version of me 
didn't follow the path  
my ego spent years trying to guard.

What if i'm done being the witness... 
and it's time to become the witnessed?

Nothing new needs to be done.
I only need to see
I've already become
everything
I was meant to be.

With the rawest ink
my life has ever bled, 
This tragedy is now ready 
to become my goddamn poetry.

---

My niece played -
Listen 
with your heart 
you will understand.
The truth just landed -
I’m not Kaj only when I dance. 
I dance because I am Kaj.

I’m not this machine, 
I’m the spirit moving through the unseen.

After Kili, my heart said:
Look what I can do.
Post-NDE, it says:
Look who you are. 
Look at your own view.

An unbreakable human spirit 
inside of this fragile little frame, 
Broken (temporarily).
Unstoppable all the same.

---

SHE WON'T SIT STILL OR SHUT UP