Quantum Realignment

Superposition:
where a system can exist
in multiple states simultaneously
until observation collapses it
into one definitive reality.

The hole
was my ultimate observation.

The quantum leap
that shattered my life
into a single fixed state.

AC current
to DC.

Kaj 2.0.

Because all my life
I existed in fragments.

Social butterfly.
ADHD paralysis.
Hyperfocus.
Emotional dysregulation.
Restless rhythms.
Scattered signals misfiring
through a chaotic switchboard.

The girl asking:
“Wait…what was the first move again?”
then somehow becoming the one
judges couldn’t stop watching on stage.

The girl failing Structural Stress Analysis
then pulling an MSc in Earthquake Engineering
out of the same brain
teachers once punished
for not being neurotypical enough.

The girl blue-lipped on Kilimanjaro
losing the will to live for three straight days
until she saw Uhuru Peak
and suddenly?

LOCKED.
THE.
FUCK.
IN.

That laser-focus survival switch.
The one that erases the world
and turns impossible
into inevitability.

Same switch that made me carry
a rupturing organ,
fractured ribs,
and internal bleeding
for five days alone.

Same switch that dragged me
back out the Event Horizon.

Because survival doesn’t ask ADHD
for permission.

It unites every fragmented version of you
into one singular current.

No leaks.
No masks.
No Labrador tail-wagging
desperate to please the crowd.

Just containment.

Jack Russell code
switching
into Snow Leopard blueprint.

I didn’t just fall into a borehole.

I dropped into Earth’s dark core
and destroyed my own in the process.

But somewhere inside that silence,
time stopped behaving normally.

Time is linear above ground.

Inside the hole?
Shit gets Interstellar.

Life reviews.
Panoramic playback.
The strange calm of surrender.

And suddenly all the fears, shame, people-pleasing, ego crap and useless weight

gone.

I heard it clearly:

“No.
We ain’t done yet.”

Maybe the trauma recalibrated
my entire internal switchboard.

Or maybe it just amplified
what was already there.

Because post-hole,
my ADHD doesn’t feel like a screaming freakshow anymore.

Compared to death?
Executive dysfunction ain’t that deep broski.

Now I carry the silence of the hole with me.

Like a cat,
I developed night vision through darkness.

Funny really.

Pre-hole,
I feared cats.

Now I am one.

Dog to cat.
Carbon to diamond.

Extreme pressure
rearranging atoms
into an entirely new crystallised state.

That process takes millions of years underground.

Mine took seconds.

And when I finally came back into my body
blood transfusions, morphine haze, broken ribs, ruptured kidney and all

I realised something.

I could have stayed.

The peace was that deep.

But I had shit to do.

I had to come back for my mum.

Because a mother never recovers
from a disappearance.

So I returned to agony.
Returned to gravity.
Returned to survival.

And somewhere between the morphine,
the monk-level zen,
the B+ blood entering my veins,
and A.R. Rahman singing olli meethu olli

I understood.

Maybe there really is
light upon light
despite the darkness.

And maybe that’s why
spoken word exploded out of me afterwards.

The rhythm needed somewhere to go.

Because once you survive your own Event Horizon,
you stop speaking from personality.

You start speaking
from the edge.

And this?

This is the biggest comeback of my life.